So in two days I will leave for my three month trip to India (ah!). I am not really in the mood to explain everything that I will be doing because it will go on forever (and most of you already know). If you are interested in exactly what I will be up take a look at these links:
Trip Itinerary: http://global-lab.org/mt/BBSpring09/2009/01/daily_itinerary.html
Background Info: http://global-lab.org/mt/BBSpring09/2009/01/post.html#more
It really didn't hit me that I was leaving until last night when I was with a good friend. I was having a really good time and then all of a sudden I realized that it would be one of the last times that I would see him in months. For a while I felt like I had all the time in the world, and then all of a sudden I realized that I have absolutely no time at all. I will miss my family, LIFE school, my bed, my friends, grilled cheeses and chocolate shakes, and my dog boo.
Like everything else in my life, I am extremely ambivalent about my trip to India. I am excited because it is something completely different then anything I have ever done before, but I am also scared shitless and sad to leave. I can't imagine leaving everyone I love for such a long period of time, and I can't imagine having to live and adapt to a completely different world. I am scared because everyone keeps telling me horrible stories about India. I cannot tell you how many times I have heard "HAHA your going to die!" and "You are going to get aids" over the past couple of months. I know that for the most part people are just messing with me, but it still freaks me out! I am also scared about sticking out. I am tall, blonde, pale, and a girl...so I will not blend in anywhere. I know that I have to be prepared to be bluntly stared at (by everyone...not just guys). This may sound like a dumb fear but for some reason the idea makes me feel extremely vulnerable. Another thing that I am very anxious for is the beggars. Anyone who has seen Slumdog Millionaire knows what I am talking about. I don't really know what to expect, because people have told me so many different stories about it, but all of them sound pretty awful, and I am sure that I will be horrified by what I see...it will most likely be the most difficult part of the trip for me. I am not scared for my homestays but I am a little anxious because they just seem like they would be really really really awkward (even though I know they will be a great)
Besides all of that, I am very excited about my trip. I cannot even begin to tell you how lucky I feel. I get to go to INDIA...what an opportunity! I think that I have grown and matured significantly over the past two years, and this trip is kind of a test to see how strong I actually am. I am going to be completely out of my comfort zone (can any of you even picture me on a 10 day trek in the mountains?!?) but I am really excited for the challenge. Global Lab is an amazing program and I feel like I will learn a lot about India, the world, and most importantly myself while I am on this trip.
My main goal is to learn how to live in the moment. I know that sounds very cheesy, cliche, and weird, but it is actually really significant goal to me. I am constantly buzzing with thought...I am either analyzing the past. freaking out over the future, or thinking about something completely unrelated to the situation that I am in. I think that I will be extremely happier if I am able to find a way to "live in the moment" without losing my self reflection. I am not going to work at this goal everyday by analyzing why I over think or by even thinking about it at all. Instead, I am going to make the effort each and everyday to just be. I just want to soak in everything and learn everything I can while I am there. I will worry about what I have experienced, and how it has affected me after I get home.
Tomorrow is my last full day in NY before I leave. I hope that I have enough time to get packed and say goodbye. I know that I won't get the chance to say goodbye to everyone who is important to me, which sucks. I love you all!
p.s. HI LEE...you're so lame
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